The End of this Blog
I’m sitting in a friend’s apartment in Bushwick, full of fried dumplings, and seriously considering my future for the first time since being on the road.
I’ve never really been sure how to end this blog. I suppose I could go on documenting my time* here in the city—learning and traveling, working and crying—but I don’t want to drag it out or risk the eventual (and inevitable) banality that would arise. I wanted this blog to be about my move, and now that, for the time being, I am done moving, it doesn’t seem appropriate to post things here anymore. Sure, there’ll still be, with hope, plenty of forward motion, but my initial destination has been reached. I didn’t know what I’d find out on this trip and in this city—and still don’t—so the blog acted as a document of those findings, those encounters, those experiences. Now that the move is done, it doesn’t seem necessary to continue to keep up a blog about moving.
Another reason I am thinking about ending the blog here is my desire to resume regular posting on my normal tumblr, something I have been neglecting for the past three weeks. I suppose I would, like I did before, more or less document certain aspects of my life on that blog, but according to the set of aesthetics I have laid out for it.** In that sense, the documentation isn’t ending, but rather shifting styles and platforms (again).
I wanted to avoid making a grand statement here with a final post on the blog. To try to sum up what I’ve experienced in the past three weeks, I feel, would do a disservice to what the blog already contains. Anyone can read what I’ve already learned, save of course for what I’ve learned since I came to New York,*** and there would be no point in repeating all of that. I can’t necessarily say that I’ve discovered some great truth about myself, this country, or the human spirit or anything. Instead, what I’ve learned since I’ve left home (which, really, wasn’t that long ago) will, hopefully, manifest itself in my personality, emotional development, my day-to-day activities, my writing, and what have you. If I truly learned it, truly digested and embodied it, I probably won’t notice it for a while (or at least until someone points it out to me).
And so, with a nearly-heavy heart and belly full of dumplings (I ate way to much), I bid you, the reader, adieu (because I am a living cliché). This blog started out as a way for me to document my time on the road and my journey into a new life, but it quickly became more than that: a platform for my writing, a way to communicate with friends and strangers. I thank you all for reading and I hope that we can stay in touch, in some way. Again, I will continue to post on my own personal tumblr—and I have a couple projects currently in the planning process—so I can be reached there.
Lastly, a big thank you to Christopher Dailey, my traveling partner, longtime bed/couch companion, and current mancrush.**** Without him I probably would have starved to death or been dragged away by bears. Or worse.
I hope this is a fitting end to the blog. I will now keep scouring the Internet for a job and quickly drink a beer in a (obviously, futile) attempt to stave off these feelings of total and complete dread that keep creeping up on me.
*I mean, my struggle
**No more pictures of me on tumblr!
***Mostly that Starbucks is just a bathroom with a coffee shop attached to it.
“The Modern Age” by The Strokes
Played this as we entered the city—I for the first time—and drove around with the windows down. Though Chris had never driven through the city, I had never been at all, and I felt extremely lucky to be in the passenger seat, marveling at everything I promised myself I would keep cool about.
There were lots of “Whoa”s as we drove down 42nd street and I pounded my legs incessantly along with this song.
(Full disclosure: If it were up to me, the first music I probably would have chosen to play in New York would have been X’s first album or something, if only to be contrarian or in a self-satisfying effort to prove something (insert teenagerism here). I was happy with Chris’ choice, though.)
"[New York] can destroy an individual, or it can fulfill him, depending a good deal on luck. No one should come to New York to live unless he is willing to be lucky."
And with that, Matthew S. Towles cements his place in history by taking the absolute worst picture of New York City ever taken.
"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."
T.S. Eliot, “Little Gidding”
After breakfast I went for a run. When I got back I got to shower and shave.
Here’s what a two week-plus road trip looks like. Yikes.
The next morning, Chris made me this delicious breakfast. Everything he has fed me on this trip—and he’s fed me a lot—has been immensely satisfying.
We got into Clarks Summit, PN, in the late afternoon. Clarks Summit is just outside of Scranton, PN, and is a very lovely, autumnal town. We are staying with Chris’ father.
We ate dinner, watched a football game, and I pet Peckerwood, an adorable cat that enjoys nothing more than to sit in someone’s lap. I pet him for what seemed like hours (though I wasn’t complaining).
Here’s a picture of the two of us.